A Guide for the Maid / Matron of Honor
An invitation to be in a wedding party is an honor and it carries with it certain responsibilities. This page will help you better understand your role in the wedding. The Maid or Matron of Honor is the counterpart of the best man but with less responsibility. She is the bride's helper and hand-holder. She should try to relieve the bride of as many tasks as she can before the wedding and especially on the day itself. Bridesmaids also should offer assistance, particularly as the wedding date draws closer.
The Maid or Matron of Honor
- Pays for her own gown, headdress and shoes.
- If from out of town, pays for her own transportation to the wedding site.
- If not a family member, usually gives or arranges for a shower, luncheon or party for the bride or for the bride and bridegroom. It is considered incorrect under ordinary circumstances for showers to be given by the immediate family of the bride or the bridegroom.
- Usually consults with the bridesmaids about a joint gift for the bride, collects the money, purchases the gift and presents it to the bride at a chosen occasion. This gift often has the wedding date and sometimes the initials or names of the givers on it. This gift is separate from the individual wedding present to be given to the couple by each member of the bridal party.
- Is on time for fittings, pre-wedding photographs, showers, parties, etc.
- Attends rehearsal for instructions on processional, ceremony and recessional.
- Attends the rehearsal dinner. May be asked to make a toast.
- Before the ceremony, makes sure the bride's going away and honeymoon clothes are packed and at the right places.
- Follows bride's wishes on where and when to dress for the ceremony and show up prepared and on time. Remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards.
- Helps the bride dress.
- Calms bride's nerves!
- Immediately precedes bride in the processional.
- Normally stands next to bride at altar and holds the bride's bouquet.
- Turns back bride's veil if necessary.
- In a double ring ceremony, is in charge of bridegroom's ring and produces it at the proper time.
- At the end of the ceremony, helps adjust bride's train and veil when she turns for the recessional.
- Serves as a legal witness.
- Is available for photographs.
- Stands in receiving line next to the bridegroom.
- If there is a bridal table, sits to the left of the bridegroom.
- Participates in reception activities such as cake cutting, bouquet ceremony, etc.
- Helps bride change into her going away clothes and makes certain the wedding gown is taken care of.
- Remembers to thank those responsible for the wedding and reception.
- Note: If the bride chooses both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor, the Maid of Honor usually takes precedence. The bride decides which attendant will assume the duties or how she would like them to be shared.
- Pays for her dress, headdress and shoes.
- If from out of town, pays for her own transportation to the wedding.
- If she is not a relative of the bride or bridegroom, may give a shower for the bride or the couple.
- Helps bride run errands the week of the wedding.
- Is on time for fittings, pre-wedding photographs, parties, showers, etc.
- Usually contributes to a joint present for the bride from her attendants. This is in addition to her personal wedding gift to the couple.
- Attends the rehearsal for instructions on the processional, ceremony and recessional.
- Attends the rehearsal dinner. She may be asked to give a toast.
- Follows the bride's wishes on when and where to dress for the ceremony and remembers to collect her own belongings afterwards.
- Looks her best and pays special attention to the bride.
- If the bride requests, may be part of the receiving line or may be asked to mingle with the reception guests.
- Participates in reception activities such as cake cutting, bouquet ceremony, etc.
- Remembers to thank those responsible for the wedding and reception.
- Other Responsibilities:
