Buying Your New Home Together

If one early step in a relationship can top wedding planning in overall potential stress, it’s buying a home together. Whether it’s your first home or forever home, you’ll want to cross that threshold with a thriving relationship, not added strain. And we’ve got the advice to help with that.

Find the Right Realtor

Much of the advice we give couples for finding the right wedding planner applies to finding a realtor. Ask for recommendations, read reviews and take time to find a realtor that gives you peace of mind.

Many couples may know family or friends that are realtors. Choosing a friend or family member may certainly go a long way to finding someone you trust. Still, that personal relationship can also make business discussions and decisions overly complicated. This is especially true if your partner is not feeling confident, they are the right choice as a realtor. Be open and up front early on with each other if you’re feeling uncomfortable or concerned about getting into a sticky family situation

Alternately, if you both have a realtor in the past you’ve worked with that you liked, set up a phone call or face to face with each. If you’re both 100% comfortable with one option, you’re all set. If there’s hesitancy either way, seek out a fresh face you both can agree on.

Upgrading to a Home

Many couples will be moving from a shared apartment to their very first home just before in the year after their wedding. Starting a marriage is thrilling, and taking that commitment a step further in buying a home is equally so. And can be equally trying without the right communication.

Take time to talk as a couple about reasonable expectations. If you’ll be purchasing and moving into your home just before or shortly after your wedding, set clear expectations on who is responsible for what. This might mean one of you focuses on wedding planning, and the other manages the home purchase. Or maybe one of you is better at big picture planning, while the other agrees to knock out the small tasks. Include each other on key decisions so neither feels left out completely, and take time to enjoy the fun and special moments.

Buying your first home can be a daunting, yet rewarding experience. This will be your first major financial purchase as a couple, filled with new questions and decisions that will need to be made. You’ll want to be financially prepared, but also relationally prepared. Give yourself time to dream, then discuss non-negotiables. Have each of you make a list of must haves, would like, and can’t stand. Keep an open mind. This exercise is all about compromise.

A Tale of Two Houses

Many premarital therapists and counselors give the same advice when couples are combining not only households, but a family; buy a new home. There’s good reason for this advice.

When combining families, a new home gives everyone a fresh start. The space is free from past relationships, and possibly unpleasant memories for both the adults and the children concerned. If there are children on both sides, room sharing may be a consideration. No one wants to feel like an intruder, and a new space or enough bedrooms for all will go a long way.

Even if children aren’t a part of the picture, buying a new home together keeps the relationship balanced. You’ll both be able to develop new routines and habits in an entirely new space. You’ll be able to decorate with a mutual aesthetic, instead of figuring out which curtains to keep. And you’ll decide together, once and for all, which drawer in the kitchen is the junk drawer.

Either way, the right realtor can guide you to a home that meets both your needs.

Focus on the Future

Just like planning your wedding, focus on the joy of the future. Not the stress of the moment. And when the stress does begin to mount, remind yourselves while you’re there in the first place. A new life together, and a home to fill with memories.