Wedding vows have gone from set in stone repetitions to purely original to the barely there words. If you feel stumped on your wedding vows, we’re showing you options.
In our last Tradition Spin installment we’re talking all about your Wedding Vows. The history, the essentials and the new twists.
Exchanging wedding vows is one of the oldest wedding traditions we still use today.
What we often think of as the “standard” or “traditional” wedding vows seem to come from a variety of sources. Take this common phrase from the Book of Common Prayer, published in 1549:
“To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
When creating their wedding ceremony, some couples are surprised there are no “required” wedding vows that must be performed at their wedding. This is particularly true for secular, non-religious weddings.
If you are getting married within a certain faith, your officiant will likely have certain guidelines on what should, or should not, be said during your vow exchange.
Even if your wedding is secular, you can always start with reading traditional wedding vows from a variety of faiths and cultures to get you going.
Outside of those minimal guidelines, your wedding vows are pretty much up to you. And that’s pretty cool. And also a little intimidating.
Writing your own wedding vows used to be very en vogue. Coming up with the perfect heartfelt sentiments seemed a test of the partnership itself. But sometimes, the pressure is just too much.
That being said, there’s nothing wrong with borrowing from historical literature, poetic icons or Bob Dylan.
If you do want something more original and personalized but aren’t great with words, bring in some help. Head to Fivver or Upwork and search for a writer that can craft your thoughts into meaningful vows. If your wedding vows are fully customized, write them down! You don’t want to be relying on your memory while standing in front of your intended with a crowd looking on.
And if the idea of extensive wedding vows has you feeling tongue-tied, keep it simple. Head back to the traditional basics or an alternate one or two liner that you repeat after your officiant.
If you want to add more ompfh to your ceremony sans vows, just think of what makes your relationship special. Artistic couples may favor personalized paintings they present to each other. Musicians may perform together or for each other. Bookish couples may share favorite passages. Whatever is “you” as a couple.
Your vows don’t have to make sense to anyone but you two. Add in your pet names, inside jokes or references to places you’ve been.
Whatever the case, we don’t recommend you wing it. It’s easy enough to practice in front of a mirror. It’s another story to do so with wedding day nerves in full swing.